and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
