What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
He shit in the fireplace
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