Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
