If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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