Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
