Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
