please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
then he tried to convert me to islam
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize