Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
