I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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