I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
