I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
