he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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