Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
