so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
