the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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