You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
