Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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