the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
