In the future we'll all be gay
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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