pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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