dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
