How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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