is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize
