i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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