Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
