mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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