3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
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