so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
