He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
