Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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