zippers are such a cool invention
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
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