I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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