Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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