When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
