i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize
