my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize