Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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