I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
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