Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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