You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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