We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize