the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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