oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
