Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
