it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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