the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
