Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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