he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
