brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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