My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
