There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
She swung at the pinata with crutches
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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