I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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