I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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