I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
