grandma shit on top of the toilet
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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