marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Porn is love you can see.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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