i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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