Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
