Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
