i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
