There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
only if we run a train.
done.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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