The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
