Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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