youre lurking in front of me
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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