we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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