Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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