The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
