Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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